Month 3 was a success in terms of motor development, breastfeeding, and emotional bonding… but an absolute nightmare for my sleep.
Why? Well, this is where our reflux story begins.
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First Things First: What Is Reflux?
Reflux is the backflow of milk from the stomach into the esophagus, sometimes even up to the baby’s mouth.
It can happen when:
• a very small stomach gets a little more milk than it can hold (babies are absolute pros at this 🤣),
• and the esophagus is so thin that even 3 extra milliliters can come right back up.
As long as the amount is small, reflux is physiological (normal).
Silent Reflux
If the milk doesn’t come all the way out — meaning the baby doesn’t spit up — but instead reaches the back of the nose and blocks breathing, this is called silent reflux.
Why Does Reflux Happen?
• Overfilling — the physiological type, lasting up to 1–2 months.
It is usually caused by:
• an immature lower esophageal sphincter (the “door” between the esophagus and stomach that sometimes stays slightly open),
• weak or immature diaphragmatic muscles.
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When Reflux Becomes Pathological
While most reflux in babies is harmless, there are cases where reflux becomes a medical problem, usually because there is an underlying cause.
Here are the most common reasons:
Pathological Reflux — Main Causes
1. Very weak (hypotonic) lower esophageal sphincter
The valve between the stomach and esophagus stays open too long, allowing milk to flow back immediately after feeding.
2. Slow gastric emptying (gastroparesis)
The stomach empties very slowly, so milk sits there too long and comes back up.
3. Hiatal hernia
A small part of the stomach slides into the chest cavity through the diaphragm.
It’s rare in babies, but when present, reflux is usually severe.
4. Food allergies or intolerances
Including cow’s milk protein allergy (CMPA), lactose intolerance, or gluten-related conditions.
These cause inflammation, discomfort, gas, mucus, and significant reflux.
(I even eliminated gluten from my own diet for two weeks — nothing changed.)
5. Digestive or respiratory infections
A cold, excess mucus, or a viral infection can temporarily worsen reflux.
6. Low muscle tone or unfavorable feeding positions
Some babies simply don’t have the muscular tone yet to keep everything where it should be.
7. Prematurity
Premature babies have a more immature digestive system and experience more severe reflux.
8. Rare anatomical abnormalities
Such as esophageal strictures, malrotation, or pylorospasm.
These are rare, but must be excluded when the baby is vomiting a lot and not gaining weight.
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Signs of Pathological Reflux
These are the red flags that require medical evaluation:
• vomiting large amounts at almost every feed;
• not gaining weight or losing weight;
• refusing feeds, crying during feeds;
• blood in vomit or stool;
• chronic cough, hoarseness, apnea episodes;
• clear pain after each feed;
• recurrent ear infections or sinus issues worsened by reflux.
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Trying to Fix Symptoms Instead of the Cause
When I noticed that R was bringing up about a quarter of each feed, I did what every exhausted mother does: I turned to the internet.
All I found were symptomatic treatments:
• Gaviscon Baby
• Gastrotuss
• Aptamil AR
All of them thickened the milk so it stayed down longer.
But thickened milk often leads to constipation and tummy pain.
You fix one problem only to create another.
Doctors kept telling me: “If he’s not vomiting much and he’s gaining weight, it’s normal.”
But I knew — this wasn’t normal. It bothered him, burned him, and woke him up.
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The Moment Everything Changed
We saw a new pediatrician who told me something no one else had said:
“Stop treating the symptoms. Let’s treat the cause.”
What was the cause?
Thin esophagus?
Immature sphincter?
Weak diaphragm?
Yes, all of the above.
But how do we help these mature?
The answer was almost too simple:
Calcium and vitamin B.
I left the office crying. How did I not think of this? It’s basic physiology…
R hates medication, so I gave it half a milliliter at a time, slowly, patiently.
But it worked.
He stopped vomiting.
I thought: We fixed it!
Or so I believed.
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Silent Reflux & the Horrible Stuffed Nose
Next came the blocked nose.
All night long.
During the day — nothing.
The reflux hadn’t disappeared. It had become silent.
It didn’t come out anymore, but went just high enough to clog his nose with milk.
Nasal sprays, aspirators — nothing helped enough.
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How We Survived the Nights: With Marvel. A Lot of Marvel
Since R was tiny and didn’t open his eyes at night, the TV light didn’t bother him. So after every feed, I held him upright for 30 minutes, until his stomach emptied a bit.
Day and night.
That’s how I watched the entire Marvel series in chronological order.
It helped partially: his nose still got blocked, but much less.
And the anti-reflux wedge pillow saved us from month 2 to month 6.
Lesson learned: Don’t rely on methods that fix symptoms.
Treat the root cause.
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Motor Development
Month 3 was lovely for motor skills.
R spent more time on his tummy and enjoyed playing like that.
But we did the most exercises in Month 4 — when he started rolling:
• from back to side,
• from tummy to side.
More on that in the next chapter.
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Our Reading Ritual
Reading has been part of our routine from day one.
Every morning and evening, one baby book.
He loved it — he would sit on my lap like a tiny panther, staring out the window while listening and smiling.
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The Emotional Side: What You Don’t See in Photos
“In Month 3, I truly learned what deep exhaustion means — not sleeping a single full night and still finding the strength to keep looking for solutions.
Every two hours, I held him for 30 minutes, terrified of falling asleep, tears in my eyes because it breaks your heart to see your baby struggling to breathe and feeling powerless.
But 30 minutes became 20 in Month 4, 15 in Month 5, and 10 in Month 6.
So don’t lose hope — if it’s not a pathological problem, your baby’s growth will fix so much.”
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Myths That Need to Go
• “If the baby spits up often, the milk is too weak.” → False.
• “Thickened milk solves the cause.” → No — it only hides it.
• “The diaphragm and sphincter mature on their own.” → Yes, but vitamins can help speed it up.
• “Sleeping position doesn’t matter.” → It matters a lot.
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What I Learned in Month 3
• If something doesn’t feel normal, it probably isn’t.
• Symptomatic treatments can hide the real issue.
• Calcium and Vitamin B can help smooth muscles mature.
• Reflux can turn into silent reflux — without warning.
• Holding the baby upright for 20–30 minutes after feeding helps immensely.
• When it comes to your baby, there is no such thing as “too much information.”
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Important Note
My experience does not replace a medical evaluation.
Reflux can have different causes for every baby.
