Eight months since we became parents.
It feels short compared to the years we lived without him, yet now that he’s here, I almost wish he had come earlier—maybe I should have listened to Radu back at thirty when he said “let’s try.”
But truthfully, I wasn’t ready then to hold a family together.
Maybe I could have been a mother, but to understand what family really means—I wasn’t there yet.
And I think for Rareș, that’s the most important thing.
So, just like that joke about the doctor whose patient says “it’s not my fault it took you eleven years to write a prescription,”—it applies here too.
It took me thirty-four years and a thousand life events to understand the importance of being the foundation of a family, and ten years to be sure that he truly is my family.
Learning How to Be the Foundation
I’ve been thinking how to write this without upsetting anyone, because ever since this little ball of energy entered my life, I’ve become more aware of people’s feelings.
Somehow, I just want to bring warmth and courage—it’s the most beautiful feeling to smooth a frown off someone’s forehead (without Botox 😅).
The good part is, I have two ways of doing that.
Career and Family Can Coexist
You can have both a child and a career.
You can be someone who contributes to society and not just consumes—and family doesn’t stop that.
It all depends on how much you are willing to sacrifice from your comfort and free time, and how capable you are of prioritizing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done.
Because yes, it is possible—but not all at once.
It’s possible in turns.
There are years for personal growth, and there are years for raising a child—when they need you there 90 % of the time in the first year, 80 % in the second, and so on. (I’ll develop more on this next year. 😄)
But the truth is: they need you.
It’s nonsense to suddenly start your “personal development journey” right after you have a child.
Children Don’t Fix Relationships
A child does not exist to bring two people closer or “fix” a relationship.
A child exists to make both of you better human beings—more conscious, more patient, with bigger hearts.
And if you were already a team before, yes, a child makes you see your partner like the sun in the sky.
It’s true you have less time for each other because the little one comes first, but that short time when you run into each other’s arms—even for thirty minutes—means so much more than when you had twenty-four hours available.
Understanding Without Experiencing
And let me say this: that phrase “You don’t understand, you don’t have a child”—I’ve heard it too many times and it’s pure nonsense.
Sure, if you don’t have a child, you don’t automatically feel certain things, but that doesn’t mean you can’t understand them when they’re explained.
I have child-free friends who believe me and support me better than some mothers who should know what it’s like but still choose ignorance.
Stop Guilt-Tripping Your Kids
And please, stop guilt-tripping your kids for the hard years you spent raising them.
They didn’t ask for it!
That line—“After all I did for you, and you go out with your friends instead of helping me wash the windows”—nonsense!
A child owes you nothing morally.
If you did your job right, they will be with you out of love.
If not—they won’t.
It’s really that simple.
Gratitude
And finally, thank you to all my patients for the understanding you’ve shown me.
Because let’s be honest—the clinic is a doctor’s second home.
I’ve received so much patience from you, more than I deserved.
I used to get annoyed at patients who canceled or rescheduled appointments because of their kids 🤣—now of course I don’t anymore.
And still, you all understood how hard this stage is and how much support I need.
Thank you!
Eight months into motherhood, I’ve learned that balance isn’t about doing everything at once—it’s about knowing when to give more where it matters most.
