Every month feels different.
In the beginning, I kept saying:
“Oh God, I can’t do this — wake me up tomorrow when he’s a month older, let time pass faster because I don’t know what to do with him.”
The start was very hard, especially because our nanny was delayed by four months — she only arrived in June instead of March.
But it was worth it!
I couldn’t have given him so much time, peace, smiles, good sleep, and good food without Maria and without Radu.
Their help goes beyond the physical — it allows us to be calm.
Raising a child with only two people, without grandparents, uncles, aunts, or any help at all — it’s impossible.
I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, and I’m glad it was short.
The Loneliness of Early Parenthood
For the friends of new parents, let me tell you: the beginning is so lonely.
You’re cut off from your old life, from what you used to do, even from yourself.
And somehow, 70 % of your friends (I was lucky, 30 % stayed) decide “not to bother you because you have a baby.”
Maybe they send you a message, maybe they visit once a month — because “you can’t go out anyway, and it would be a bother.”
No. That’s not a bother — that’s support.
And it’s when you need them the most.
But, well… let’s just say the little one also helps clean up your circle. 🥲
The Truth About Breastfeeding
The last myth/truth I want to touch on is about breastfeeding.
The so-called “milk rage” that everyone talks about — it’s nonsense.
In reality, it’s just the beginning of lactation.
For first-time mothers, the glands are 80 % blocked, and the breasts harden like stone from too much milk that hasn’t been drained.
It doesn’t happen right after birth (especially not with a C-section), but two to three days later.
And guess what — it can be solved with two massages and putting the baby on the breast.
And if the baby doesn’t suck, there are pumps, teas, herbal supplements.
Formula Is Too Easily Offered
I feel like from the maternity ward, women are pushed too quickly toward formula, too easily offered that option — so much that breastfeeding isn’t just diminished, it’s almost abolished.
And why? Because formula needs to be sold.
But breastfeeding builds a strong foundation for children:
stronger immunity, a better microbiome, faster brain development.
That being said — it’s very hard.
Please don’t look down on or judge women who don’t breastfeed.
It’s harder than it seems.
Physically, it feels like running laps every day.
Mentally, it drives you crazy — your baby’s dependence means you can’t do anything for more than two or three hours, and the nights feel longer than the days.
Most babies don’t even have the strength to suck properly at first.
Mine didn’t suck for three whole weeks.
That meant three weeks of fighting not to lose my milk supply.
At first it hurt, then every day I felt it diminishing.
Each time I tried to feed him, he got frustrated and cried, I cried too, and then I pumped two to three times a day, forty minutes each time, for just ten to twenty milliliters of milk.
The frustration was enormous.
One Month — Whatever It Takes
But I told myself:
“One month. Whatever it takes.”
And on January 6th, he finally latched on.
After a consultation with a lactation specialist, another month of physical therapy, three liters of lactation tea daily, and three Galafor Forte pills a day — things got easier.
I’m ambitious, and that kept me emotionally present for him.
If it hadn’t, I would have stopped and switched to formula.
Because in the end, their emotional well-being and our presence as mothers matter more than any milk or anything else.
Early motherhood is lonely, beautiful, and brutally real. Here’s what I learned about help, friendship, and breastfeeding in the first eight months.
